On a Friday morning in February 2017, I received a call from my boss. She got right to the point: “Your position has been eliminated.”
Since I was working from home, I didn’t suffer the indignity of being immediately escorted from the building, which had been common practice at the company through the countless office layoffs I’d survived over the almost 30 years I’d had the editorial job.
I thanked my boss and the HR person, said I’d learned a lot working there and was grateful for the opportunity, and wished them both well. I hung up, shared the news with my husband, talked with a few friends about it, and then went downstairs to the living room sofa where I stretched out and read the rest of the day.
I had no idea what the future would hold, but instead of sadness, a wave of relief washed over me. I shed no tears. How was it possible that I wasn’t upset? I had been working there since college, and it was my main source of income.
The following Monday I made the long trip to FedEx an hour away to ship back my company stuff, and as I walked out, I felt liberated. Still marveling at my own reaction to such life-changing news, I stopped at one of my favorite places, a bookstore. As I walked across the parking lot, I noticed a red-tailed hawk perched atop a light pole about 30 yards away trying very hard to get my attention. It was looking at me, calling out, hopping and flapping its wings, then took flight and circled high over my head 3 or 4 times before going on its way.
Hawks aren’t an uncommon sight for me but this sure was. I’d never seen one behave so strangely before, and seeming to single me out.
Once in the bookstore, I looked up hawk behavior on my phone. I came across a bird symbolism website and read that seeing a hawk meant I was being called to a higher purpose, a stronger vision, and I needed to pay attention to and trust my inner guidance. That’s when the tears came, right there in the bookstore, because I felt the truth of that in my bones and it filled me with awe.
I had left behind a job I’d had for almost my entire adult life, but I was not sorry to see it go. I had given the company my best and worked dilligently under pressure with lots of deadlines for so many years, and I did my job very well, but in that job I wasn’t serving my life purpose. I wasn’t helping people live more fulfilled lives, which is what I’m called to do.
How about you? What in your life would you leave behind with a sense of relief, if you were forced to let go of it? In what ways can you listen for and trust your inner guidance? Please let me know in the comments.