Retirement was coming, and work had been what grounded me and gave me purpose. With that going away, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling the way I had spent my life so far: all that anxiety and gloom and doom, and an awful lot of self-condemnation. I wasn’t the best person I could be for myself or for those other people that I thought were giving my life meaning. I can slap a smile on my face and I can fake it well, but on the inside, it was hollow. What would my purpose be without having to work? I didn’t think I was as important as the other people in my life that I took care of.
Working with Trina, what’s been vital for me is learning to love myself and think about truth as I perceive it versus what the truth really is, learning that I don’t have to be perfect to be enough, and being able to talk that through in a safe environment where I’m not threatened. I’m not pushed. I’m just allowed to go at my own pace and my own speed. I understand negative self-talk now, what it looks like and sounds like, and how to actively disengage that switch inside my brain. I’ve realized that I have to fill up my own cup before I can serve others well, instead of running on empty all the time. I’ve learned the way to fill up my own cup, and I accept my imperfection as being perfectly me, with all of my flaws.
Working with Trina has been worth every dime and every minute. I have come away with so much more than I expected. Before, I was living, but only partially. Now I am living fully, comfortable in my own skin and at peace with who I am. And on the days when I’m anxious and circumstances are not what I want them to be, they don’t define who I am. I can center and focus and be still and mindful. It centers me to be able to say, “That is not true. And this is true.” I am walking away with that discernment of what is real and true, and what is not, and that’s worth more than anything I could have.